Today curiosity got the better of me and I ventured over to an online archery business run by a woman who likes to quote the bible and claim to be a good Christian. What I found on this site made my blood run cold. If there were a picture that clearly defined "hypocrite" in any dictionary in existence, this person would be the poster child.   How can someone who claims:" 'My goal is always to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ as stated in John 13:15 "I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do' " wake up every morning, look at themselves in the mirror and not be filled with shame and self loathing? Does she buy the brand of bullshit she's peddling? She crams her hypocritical ass into camouflage, paints her face, sprays herself with an odor masking spray, lays a pile of bait on the forest floor beneath a tree whilst she perches smugly in her tree stand 30' off the ground waiting for a helpless creature to feed so she can take it's life with a crossbow. Now I might be way off base here, but killing indiscriminately doesn't seem very, well...Christian of her. Is that the model about which she thinks Jesus Christ was speaking?  I wasn't aware of Jesus hunting with a crossbow purely for "sport". I wasn't aware that Christian beliefs exclude animals from "all God's creatures".

     The worst part isn't the gruesome killing for no apparent reason, nor is it the big fake smile plastered on her face as she kneels over the animals she has murdered but doesn't eat, use, wear, etc. The worst part is that she is a single mother of two young daughters and she is sharing her "teachings" with them as well, teaching them to kill for no reason, and most importantly, to smile big for the camera when they pose next to their victims. I can just picture her out in the forest after making yet another cruel and unnecessary kill, holding hands with her children as they recite this little passage she has on her website:

     " And whatever you do......do it all in the name of Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Colossians 3:17"

     Do you think the men pictured in her "trophy gallery" kneeling and smiling over the majestic lion and jaguar "trophy kills" felt closer to god and gave their heartfelt thanks for being allowed the privilege of taking the life of another living creature for no reason at all? Do they hunt for their own survival? Can you imagine a photo of a murderer smiling and kneeling over their victim being shown in a church? Oh goodness no, that would be sinful. Hypocrites.

     I'm sure that any god would be proud to have these people as followers.

Out my window
the only thing visible for miles is dark sky
Black and white choices leave a deep blue inside.
Plans undone, words unspoken, unanswered questions,
stacks of letters tied with frayed purple ribbons
and many written yet left unsent.
Why?
The road to hell isn't paved with good intentions
it's paved with regret.
Fortunately, I believe in neither.
Hell or regret that is. 
Good intentions, I can take them or leave them
preferring instead to let my words act as the foreplay to my social intercourse. 
Actions really do speak louder,
I am going to prove that.
Pushing forward temporarily hindered
by a desperate wish to turn back time.
Perhaps standing perfectly still is a better idea? 
I kind of like the idea of the world revolving around me for a while.     

   I set out to post something here.  A pondering? A musing? Pusing? Mondering? Wandering....in any case, I had either too much or not enough to say so I sat, staring at a blank page and smiling broadly because for the first time in what seems like months, I feel like myself. In the spirit of feeling myself, or something along those lines, I nestled my ear buds in my ears (good place, eh?), built a playlist and got to typing. 

   So far, January 1, 2009 has been a GREAT day!  Back up one day if you don't mind. 2008-The year that was seemingly endless was given a boot to the ass while I watched the last sunset down at the beach yesterday. With the sand between my toes, the ocean mist coaxing my hair into dreadlocks, the sun shining on my face and the sound of my beautiful offspring frolicking, everything faded away to a murmur, a heartbeat that grew slower and slower until, as the sun darted behind the clouds, it fell silent. Finally. Good bye 2008, thank you for the smiles, laughs, tears, pain, pleasure and new crop of shimmery silver hairs. It's been a nice ride, but I raised my hand and want to be let off.

   Last year wasn't terrible by any means, but it had it moments-good and bad.  I won't, no, let me change that, I don't dwell on past events, it's not good for my soul or my complexion. I need to keep laughing to stay crinkle free, right? So forward I push, smiling and singing as I go. Have I even made a point here? No? Well, ok....I'll leave you with something profound then, I have a phone call to make anyway *grinning impishly*

     "To live each day as if it were your last, you would be trying to remedy all the mistakes you had made, all the regrets, all the things unsaid. If you live each day as if it were your first, you are freed from all the obligations, all guilt, all regret."~excerpt from "Breathing Space" by Katrina Repka and Alan Finger

    Here's to a lifetime of firsts!! Happy 2009 everyone!!! Bright blessings and warm hugs~

Raven